Tuesday, December 11, 2007

How to Not Knit a Sweater

I was really moving along on Arwen. I mean, things were looking great, considering that I'm the world's slowest knitter and all. I had even gotten over the worry I had when I reached the part for making the sleeve and for the life of me couldn't figure out what the hell I was supposed to do with this "short row sleeve shaping business." (Keep in mind that I've knit a lot of socks, and so when I see the words "short row," I assume a heel or a toe are going to appear. I thought maybe I was adding an elbow or something.)

I just followed the pattern on faith, and when the light came on, well, it really came on, and I was working the sleeve and I got to the sleeve cuff with all the cables and I had that going on a different row from the body cables because that's just how it worked out. And that was okay, it was working. I had two counters going. Then, in the next piece of pattern, it said to keep working the sleeve/body bit for a given number of rows, adding yet a third counter to the project, and I only own three and one of them is tucked into a sock pattern right now. I tried to keep count on a piece of paper, and I crashed and burned at something. One of the cables went wrong, and the body of the sleeve count appeared to be off, and then I tried to rip back to the part before the sleeve. Every single time I tried to put the stitches back on the needles, I only had 23 stitches in the cable instead of 24. I totally lost my shit at this point and ended up ripping the whole damned thing out.

I've started over, and I'm about halfway back to the part where I'll add the sleeve. I should have yet another counter ready for this so that when I hit the part that tanked me before, I'll be ready. I'm also going to run a lifeline at the row right below where the sleeve is cast on, so if this happens again I have a place to start and my cable stitches can't suddenly go all reclusive and mysterious on me.

Still, I have to ask myself: What the hell is wrong with me that I couldn't just pick a normally constructed sweater with sleeves that I'd be sewing on later for the first sweater I actually want to make? I'm sure this thing is an engineering marvel and all, but really, the words "needlessly complex" fell out of my mouth, along with a few other choice words that can get you a ticket for disorderly conduct if you say them in public in front of a cop. It was not pretty.